February 2012
120 posts
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Simon says jump.
most-awkward-moments:
Simon didn’t say land, you’re all out.
Me:
Everyone playing:
I made this blog to cheer you sad people up. You deserve to smile.
When people put quotes on pictures that have...
all-the-best-post:
allthebestpost :
wtf this blog is so funny:))
Watchthe-absolute-funniest-posts:
DEAD.
FOLLOW this blog, get free ham =D
I said to my girlfriend, "I bet you can't piss me...
most-awkward-moments:
She replied, “Your cock’s bigger than your brother’s.”
I made this blog to cheer you sad people up. You deserve to smile.
03799:
madisongayos:
sidneyisbasedgodd:
...
Conversation with God
Me: God can I ask you a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise u won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late,
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start,
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait,
God: Huummmm...
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.....
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed).........
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed): Ok
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad.
Me: I will trust you
God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children......
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55_8
